


Steven (Finally) Gets Therapy

by Paperpage



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Crying, Fluff, Gen, PTSD reference, mentions of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:21:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25499773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paperpage/pseuds/Paperpage
Summary: Says on the tin. Our boy gets some help.
Relationships: None
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Steven (Finally) Gets Therapy

He glanced down at his shoelaces, not wanting to focus on anything else. He was scared. He’d faced countless dangers before: corrupted gems, the Cluster, the calamitous Diamonds, even Spinel, but this was different. This wasn’t adrenaline pumping through Steven, this was something else. 

This was anxiety. This was breath-taking, earth-shattering, panic inducing anxiety. Caused by trauma (according to Dr. Maheswaran) and that he would need to have a therapist to talk about his problems with. At first he was skeptical, but after what happened a week ago… he didn’t want to take any chances. 

Now he was here, in the waiting area. He’d never been in one before, besides the time he went to the hospital to get X-Rayed. Normally, he’d look around and take in everything in the room, from it’s blue, cushioned seats to its plain walls, to the old carpets that vaguely remind him of his dad’s shirts from the 90’s to the gentle music playing overhead. The thing is, he noticed these things, but he didn’t want to. It was overwhelming, all of this was. Why was he so scared? It’s just a waiting room. Why did he feel like something was going to attack him? Why is this so hard?

“Are you okay schtuball?” He glances back at his father quickly, who’s giving him a concerned look. He’s placed a hand on his shoulder. Steven realizes how tense he is there.

He huffs, forcing the anxiety out through his breath. It’s okay. Everyone’s here to help. Not themselves, but me. 

He bites back the urge to ask if dad was okay, instead quietly sighing and plopping his head onto his dad’s shoulder. This was gonna be exhausting, he could already tell.

“Steven Universe?” He shifts his gaze to the short, older woman that was standing across from him. She helps him up and shakes his hand.

“My name’s Shelby. It’s nice to meet you.” She greets him with a warm, gentle smile. He’s almost able to give her one back, but can’t quite muster it. He was feeling pretty drained.

“Well, let’s go. We’ll head straight into my office and go from there.”

She opens the door for him, and walks him down a quiet hallway. There were many closed doors filling the area, offices of other therapists and counselors; many of which were helping people out with their issues.

Steven wonders if she’ll even be able to put a dent in any of his.

The office wasn’t quite what he expected (then again, he’d never been to the doctor’s office until recently, so what did he expect)? The room had a desk to the right of the door, holding a laptop, a phone, and paper and pens. There were various toys in a bin at a corner, opposite of it a shelf. There were a variety of chairs in the room, some hard, some soft, even a jello cushion to sink into. There was even a sofa. 

He’ll sit there, he feels like the bean bag chair would remind him too much of when Lapis tried to drown him. Or when she was stuck in Malachite. Or when he’d corrupted.

“Are you alright Steven?” Shelby asked, eyeing him worriedly.

“Huh?” He looks down to see that he’s glowing pink.

“Oh, oh! Sorry.” He blurts as he forces a few deep breaths to calm himself down. She watches curiously as his glow fades and begins to look normal. 

“It’s okay. We all have different reactions to stress. You’re not harming anyone by glowing.” She reassured him.

“Oh, uhhh thank you.” He mumbles. 

“Although I will say, glowing is definitely a first! Ha, seeing how people work and why they react the way they do is why I love this job.” She chuckles cheerfully. Steven’s a little bewildered by her cheerfulness, but ends up laughing with her. She seems… nice. Glad that she took his glowing better than he did at least.

“Why don’t you tell me about yourself, Steven? Is that your preferred name?” She grabs a few sheets of paper off her desk and clicks a pen open. 

“Uhh, yes. I prefer being called Steven.” He answers uneasily, eyeing the pen. She puts the pen and paper down as quickly as she grabs them and instead grabs a stress ball. He watches her briefly play with it, squeezing it gently with her fingers. Ever eagle eyed, Shelby smiles and points at the ball.

“Sure” he shrugs. She gently tosses the ball, Steven catching it with ease. He tests it gently, feeling the soft rubber cave under his fingers. 

One squeeze, then two. He soon loses track as his hand automatically goes into a rhythm squeezing the ball. Shelby smiles.

“I see you’re feeling more relaxed Steven.” She notes kindly. It does feel nice, but.

“But what about you, Mrs. Shelby? Don’t you need this too?” Steven asks, unable to fight back the knee jerk response.

“It’s okay!” Shelby laughs. “I’ll be fine, Steven. The stress ball is just one of the many stimming objects I have”. She opens her desk drawer and grabs a small pocketful of play-doh. 

“I prefer the play-doh anyways.” She winks.

“Oh, okay. I’m sorry for worrying.” He apologizes.

“It’s okay. I appreciate your concern, but you don’t have to worry. This is about you, after all.” She states firmly. 

He nods quietly at that, trying to ignore the pang of anxiety that came up. 

“It’s says from a past record that Dr. Mahaswerin had formerly diagnosed you with trauma or more commonly known as PTSD.” 

Steven stiffens at the statement. Squeezing the ball harder, he silently nods to her. She nods back and continues.

“Steven, would you feel comfortable sharing anything in regards to your feelings or emotions?” She questions. Steven doesn’t say anything, his hands were clenched, turning white. He could feel the stress ball in his hands almost breaking under the pressure.

“Steven, it’s okay. You don’t have to answer”. She places the clipboard down gently on her desk and grabs the play-doh. Steven feels himself relax a little at that statement. He looks at the ball. Somehow, it didn’t break after being squeezed to death by his hands. It still functioned after all the immense pressure it went through. 

He begins to cry at that thought. He’s not sure why. A part of him still feels bad for it. 

“You’re okay.” She says. “You need to cry, it’s how we deal with pain and with trauma.”

So he cries. It’s refreshing, like last time. Almost better even. He loves his family, but it’s hard to be like this around them. It’s less oppressive, in a way, being in a room with a stranger. It carries less weight with it. 

Maybe he can tell her a little bit.

“Shelby, um..” he hiccups through his tears.

She looks at him, eyeing intently.

“Thank you, for this. I- I don’t feel like I can do this at home, usually.” He admits.

“Oh.” She gives him a concerned look. 

“No one’s mistreating you, or telling you to be a man and hide your emotions, are they?” She inquired. 

He shakes his head: “Oh, no. Nothing like that. It’s just…” Steven casts his eyes back at his feet, not sure how to put into words what he wants to say. Something tells him that Shelby was going to be patient, so he takes a minute to form his thoughts.

“My family really depended on me to solve their problems.” He opens up. Shelby nods empathetically, her concern growing into something deeper. Steven, against his better judgment, spills a little more.

“They, *sigh*, saw me as the hero. I’m Rose- er, Pink Diamond’s son. They all fought in a war with her and had their demons from it. When my mom died, they all tried to take care of me, but… but then I had to take care of them. They all were lost without mom.” 

Steven pauses and watches Shelby, who seems to stare at him intently. He gulps.

“I guess, they in some sort of way, thought that of me as her.” He finishes.

Shelby grimaces sympathetically. “I’m sorry that you had to grow up with that”. She stands up and grabs her clipboard, writing on it at a furious pace. Steven thought she was going to set the paper on fire, if not by hand then by the fierce look on her eyes. 

She fixes her fiery gaze on him. “Steven, I can tell you are a very kind kid. I just want to let you know that you are not obligated to deal with their issues. If they have their own problems, it’s up to them to ultimately figure it out.” She grabs a small piece of paper, and quickly jots down on it before giving it to Steven. 

“I know you’re kind to other people, but I have an assignment for you. I want you to start a kindness journal. Write three things that you did that were kind to yourself each day. Do it at a time that is best for you, like before bed or at the start of the morning. This will help develop good self-care habits for you, and help you keep track of taking care of yourself.” 

“But wait!” Steven interjects. “What do you do to be kind to yourself?” He asks meekly. 

She puts a hand to her forehead: “Ah, I’m sorry, I was getting ahead of myself. It can be anything, really. Most say eating healthy, exercising, going to bed early are good self-care things. These are the most important, of course, but changing your self-talk is just as important too.” 

When she receives a blank stare, Shelby quickly explains: “Self-talk is the little voice inside your head that’s either telling you you’re doing great or that you suck.”

“Oh!” He exclaims. 

“I’m sorry if I’m in a rush, we’re nearing the end of our session. Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?” She asks.

“No. Thank you, Shelby.” 

“Ha! Don’t mention it. I’m gonna go grab your dad and we’ll discuss a few things here before you go!” 

With that, she swiftly grabbed Greg from the waiting area and talked with him in the office. Steven squeezed the ball during their conversation, wholly focused on it. He wonders if he can go with dad to buy one later. It was nice. 

“Steven?” 

“Huh?” 

“You ready to go, schtuball?” Greg smiles at him warmly. Steven has enough energy to give one back. Shelby opens the door for them. 

“Well, it was really nice to meet you Steven. Are we good for next week?”

“Oh yeah. I’d love to meet again.” He grins genuinely.

“Wonderful”! She leads them through the hallway, and out to the check-in area. 

“Buh-bye Steven, see you soon!” She waves at them. 

“Bye Shelby, see you soon!” He calls back. He can feel a small grin tugging at his face as they leave the building. 

“Wow, is she a good fit for you?” Greg asks in wonder. 

Steven looks up at his dad: “Yeah, yeah she is.”

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHH Alive! Probably briefly! But alive! I hope you guys are all doing okay during quarantine! This is just a little divergence so that I could take a break from writing A Second Chance!! I've been wanting to write some SU fic for a looooong time! I hope you guys enjoy! Have a good day and a good reading!
> 
> OH WAIT. I don’t know if I posted this over here or not? But I’m gonna try to have A Second Chance CH.3 out on August 16th. Keep your eyes and ears open!! Peace!!


End file.
